so, i was out on a walk on the last day of my mountainous retreat, when i came across a log, completely and utterly covered in carved initials.
neato burrito!
of course, i had to take a look and see what was on there. lots of hearts, a+b, c+d etc. etc.
but then, then i come across this little gem.
it says, simply, ME.
now, perhaps this just means molly loves edward or mel loves ellie, or something like that... i mean, that would make sense.
in my funny little imaginary landscape, however, i saw someone go up there, look at all that love and think, "well, i don't have a special initial or a plus sign to put on there, but i've really been working hard to be a good person and i like the way i've turned out. so,"-take out a handy swiss army knife, "i'm going to,"-digging into the old wood, "(jeepers, etching is hard) celebrate that," - more scratching, "by doing this."
ME
i'm trying to be kinder to myself.
i think it's a good lesson to learn.
while it is important to stretch, to grow, to learn and to make mistakes... falling on your face every now and then isn't the worst thing, even though it hurts and is pretty darn embarrassing... especially if you're on roller skates and your pants split... not that that's ever happened to me... ahem... it's also natural to want love, to wish for it, to yearn for that plus sign and that other initial... but don't forget about Molly and Edward. they should be the first carving on any tree, and if you try to make them happy, you might not be so worried about finding someone else... don't worry, i'm sure if you want to add another initial on there, whoever it is won't mind. and if that person does mind, perhaps they don't deserve to get their initial carved on there next to yours anyway. it's really not as easy as it looks.
a x
